Handhold

I’m drowning in the news of Renee Good and Adam Pretti

I didn’t know them or even of them
until the gunshots rang clear across the country
until their faces flashed onto my screen
where they have stayed
emblazoned there
by light waves so heavy they cannot be erased

there have been so many others
the weight of souls tugging on
my heart
my lungs
my throat
each new death a downpour
ICE never stops shooting and killing

stealing children with bunny ear hats
ripping husbands out of wives’ arms
until on this day I feel
I can’t swim back up to the surface anymore

I know I must
I know that I haven’t yet done enough
I know that to drown now doesn’t even make me
a martyr for the cause

I look for a handhold